Part I
Part II
Stubborn Little Girl
A 10-year-old girl was walking down the street when a big man on a big-old motorcycle pulls up beside her and says, “Hey little girl, do you want to go for a ride?”
“NO!” says the little girl as she keeps on walking.
The motorcyclist pulls up beside her again and says, “Hey kid, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back.”
“NO!” said the little girl and proceeded down the street a little quicker.
The motorcyclist pulls up to the little girl again and says, “Okay kid, I will give you $20 and a BIG bag of candy if you hop on the back of my bike for a ride.”
At this point the little girl turns to him and screams angrily, “Look Dad, YOU bought a Honda instead of a Harley, so, YOU ride it!”
Personal Perceptions
Different people have different perception. One man’s meat could be another man’s poison.
A couple bought a donkey from the market.. On the way home, a boy commented, “Very stupid. Why neither of them rides on the donkey? “Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them.
Later, an old man saw it and commented, “The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?” Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, “How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman. ”The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, “Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you.” Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear. Do what you think is right, not what others think.
help homeless animals for free
PLEASE DO THIS 'FREE' GOOD DEED - Animal Rescue:
Hi, all you animal lovers. This is pretty simple... Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals.
It takes less than a minute (How about 20 seconds) to go to their site and click on the purple box that says "Click here to Give - It's Free!" You don't have to fill anything out, and it's just counting clicks.
This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/
Difference between http and https ?
Many people are unaware of the main difference between http:// and https://.
It's all about keeping you secure HTTP stands for Hyper Text Transport Protocol,
Which is just a fancy way of saying it's a protocol (a language, in a manner of speaking) For information to be passed back and forth between web servers and clients. The important thing is the letter S which makes the difference between HTTP and HTTPS.
The S (big surprise) stands for "Secure". If you visit a website or webpage, and look at the address in the web browser, it will likely begin with the following: http://.
This means that the website is talking to your browser using the regular 'unsecure' language. In other words, it is possible for someone to "eavesdrop" on your computer's conversation with the website. If you fill out a form on the website, someone might see the information you send to that site.
This is why you never ever enter your credit card number in an http website! But if the web address begins with https://, that basically means your computer is talking to the website in a secure code that no one can eavesdrop on.
You understand why this is so important, right?
If a website ever asks you to enter your credit card information, you should automatically look to see if the web address begins with https://. If it doesn't, there's no way you're going to enter sensitive information like a credit card number.
Nizam's Footwear and Madan Mohan Malaviya
Madan Mohan Malaviya was trying to build a good university; he had toovercome many difficulties and barriers. He worked with determination tostart the university. There was a funds crisis; but he did not getdisheartened. He went from town to town, met many rich people and traders tocollect donations.
He went to the Nizam of Hyderabad to request him for funds. The Nizam was furious, 'How dare you come to me for funds... that too for aHindu university? he roared with anger and took off his footwear and flungit at Malviya. Malviya picked up the footwear and left silently. He camedirectly to the market place and began to auction the footwear. As it wasthe Nizam's footwear, many came forward to buy it. The price went up. When Nizam heard of this, he became uneasy. He thought it would be an insultif his footwear were to be bought by someone for a pittance. So he sent oneof his attendants with the instruction, 'Buy that footwear no matter whatthe bidding price be!' Thus, Malaviya managed to sell the Nizam's ownfootwear to him, for a huge amount. He used that money to build the Banaras Hindu University.
Moral: It is not what you have, but it is how you use what you have thatmakes the difference in your life.
Tech Support for Valentine Day! Hilarious
A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy, Dear Tech Support ,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 .
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate Woman
DEAR DESPERATE Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 . Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.
Good Luck Madam!
Facial Recognition Test
This is a test to see how well you can remember faces and when. There are two parts A and B, and each part will have 12 photos of faces. You only have a short time, 4 seconds, to see each face before the program moves to the next face. Part A will begin and when that is finished you can start Part B. When Part B is finished, the test will begin. The test will consist of showing 48 faces and below each face you will have a choice of choosing whether you have seen the face, either in Part A or in Part B, or whether or not you have seen the face at all. After you have made you selection for face number 48 your score will appear and you will be able to see how you scored.
Take the test now.
If we could shrink the earth's population
If we could shrink the earth's population
If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following. There would be:
57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south
8 would be Africans
52 would be female
48 would be male
70 would be non-white30 would be white
70 would be non-Christian30 would be Christian
89 would be heterosexual11 would be homosexual
6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the United States.
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
(ONE)1 would be near death;
(ONE)1 would be near birth;
(ONE)1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education;
(ONE)1 (yes, only 1) would own a computer.
When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent.
And, therefore . . .
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.
If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
As you read this and are reminded how life is in the rest of the world, remember just how blessed you really are!
Old Version - Useful Link
Sometimes upgrading to a newer version can be a good thing. Other times, your computer may not be compatible with the new version, the new version is bloated, or all the options you liked are no longer available. OldVersion.com has been supplying the online community with old versions of various programs since 2001. The service is utilized by thousands of users every day and has been featured in newspapers and magazines as well as on radio and television.
visit About page of http://www.oldversion.com/
Job in a Zoo
One day, a mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office.
The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.
He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts the offer.
So, the next morning, before the crowd arrives, the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people, and he draws larger crowds than he ever did as a mime on the street.
However, eventually the crowd tires of him, and he tires of just swinging on auto tires. He notices that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the next cage. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top of the lion's cage.
Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it. At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction.
Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowd grows larger, and his salary keeps going up.
Then, one day, when he is dangling over the top of the lion's cage, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion raises himself up and prepares to pounce. The
mime is so scared that he begins to run around the cage with the lion in hot pursuit.
Finally, the mime starts screaming, "Help! Help me!"
The lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds him flat on his back looking up at the angry lion.
The lion says, "Shut up, you idiot, or we'll both lose our jobs!"
Cancel your credit card before you die
Now some people are really stupid !!!
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.
This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.
Here is the exchange :
Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'
Citibank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'
Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
Citibank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
Citibank: 'Excuse me?'
Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'
Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'
Citibank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply..' (so if you have a $0 balance how can they charge late fees & charges?)
Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
Citibank: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)
Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )
After they get the fax :
Citibank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'
Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'
Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.'
(What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?'
Citibank: 'That might help...'
Family Member: ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
Citibank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???'
(Priceless!!) You wondered why Citi is going broke and need the feds to bail them out!!
Don't trust anyone
When a guy's printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job himself.
Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"
"Actually, it is my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."
What is recession? The best definition SO FAR
What is recession?
The story is about a man who once upon a time was selling Hotdogs by the roadside. He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers. He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio. His eyes were weak, so he never watched television. But enthusiastically, he sold lots of hotdogs. He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales. His sales and profit went up. He ordered more a more raw material and buns and use to sale more. He recruited few more supporting staff to serve more customers. He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove. As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his father.
Then something strange happened. The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?" The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible. The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times" The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watching TV, he ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly. So the next day onwards, the father cut down the his raw material order and buns, took down the colorful signboard, removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic. He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs. Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his hotdog stand. And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit. The father said to his son, "Son, you were right. We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."
Moral of The Story: Its all in your MIND !!!
What can we take away from this story??
1. How many times we confuse intelligence with good judgment?
2. Choose your advisers carefully but use your own judgment
3. A person or an organization will survive forever, if they have the 5 C's
* Character
* Commitment
* Conviction
* Courtesy
* Courage
The tragedy today is that there are many walking encyclopedias that are living failures. The more practical and appropriate views on this economic recession is: "This is the time to reunite together for any small or a big organization, this is the time to motivate and retain people which are the biggest asset, this is the time to show more commitments to the customers, this is the time show values of our company to the world, and this is the time to stand by our Nation".
IMPORTANT >> Evacuation Drill .
XYZ Office -> A fire alarm rang at 6 PM when almost all shift employees are in office(approx 5000). As usual entire office was evacuated within 3 mins & every employee gathered outside office. 10 mins passed..................................5 more mins passed.
Security Officer -> Announcement started,
"Dear Employees - With melting heart I am making this announcement that for many of you it will be a last evacuation drill, as we are laying off almost 80% employee. While moving in who-so-ever ID card won't work are layed off & all their belongings will be couriered to them tomorrow. We followed this approach as we don't want to fill email box size with layoff mail in thousands & also to avoid any fight inside office". Hope you have nice career ahead.
Look at the other side - A Short Story
A Father was reading a magazine and his little daughter every now and then distracted him. To keep her busy, he tore one page on which was printed the map of the world. He tore it into pieces and asked her to go to her room and put them together to make the map again.
He was sure she would take the whole day to get it done. But the little one came back within minutes with perfect map... When he asked how she could do it so quickly,she said,"Oh... Dad, there is a man's face on the other side of the paper... I made the face perfect to get the map right." she ran outside to play leaving the father surprised.
Moral of the Story: Friends, There is always the other side to whatever you experience in this world. Whenever we come across a challenge or a puzzling situation, look at the other side... You will be surprised to see an easy way to tackle the problem..
Give 100 % --- An Excellent message
A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed.
The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.
That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.
Moral of the story: If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent.. This is applicable for any relationship like love, employer-employee relationship etc., Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully
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