Clock with 9's
Having 9's does not make it special.....
U can design a clock having only 9 with 9/9 (=1),
(9+9)/9(=2), (9+9+9)/9(=3) and so on...
What makes it really amazing is that...
it has only 3 9's in each digit representation...
It's really great calculations and design...
Military/NATO/Letter time zones
The following table lists the Military time zone abbreviations, click on the time zone links for more information about individual time zones and where they are used.The basis for this is Z - Zulu time - Zero meridian time - the same as UTC It's a convention to assign letters to time zones, where Z= Zero meridian, and Zulu is the word that represents the letter Z, when it's used in communication. It is sometimes used in the US Military and NATO in conjunction with 24 hour clocks, and is also popular to use in movies to reference time.
Other letters/words are used for other time zones than UTC, most based on the right or reverse order of the Alphabet. Note that 'J' is skipped ('J' - Juliet refers to current local time of the observer). There are 25 time zones defined here, but 26 letters in the English alphabet.
Visit Time and Date for more information.
Life after National ID
Operator:' Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your...'
Customer:'Helloo, can I order..'
Operator:'Can I have your multi UAE identity card number first, Sir?'
Customer:' It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610'
Operator:'OK... you're... Mr. Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?'
Customer:' Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator:' We are connected to the system Sir'
Customer: 'May I order your Seafood Pizza...'
Operator :'That's not a good idea Sir'
Customer: 'How come?'
Operator :'According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir'
Customer:'What?... What do you recommend then?'
Operator :'Try our Low Fat Ho kkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it'
Customer:'How do you know for sure?'
Operator :'You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week Sir'
Customer:'OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?'
Operator :'That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99'
Customer:'Can I pay by credit card?'
Operator :'I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.'
Customer:'I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives'
Operator :'You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today'
Customer:'Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?'
Operator : 'About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...'
Customer:'What!'
Operator :'According t o the details in system ,you own a Scooter,...registration number 1123...'
Customer:'????'
Operator :'Is there anything else Sir?'
Customer:'Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?'
Operator : 'We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... '
Customer:#$$^%&$@$% ^
Operator :'Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?'
;-@.. lolllllllzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... :-)
A gift to Mom
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.
The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."
The third said "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."
The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her thank you notes. "She wrote: "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."
"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."
"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."
"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."
Blonde Cop and Driver
A blonde police officer stops a blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.The driver searches around in her handbag but can’t find it. She says to the cop, “I must have left it at home officer.”The cop says, “Well, do you have any kind of identification?” The motorist searches around in her bag again, and finds a mirror.She looks at it and says to the cop, “All I have is this picture of myself.” The cop says, “Let me see it, then.”So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, “Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have even pulled you over. You are free to go.”
Honey, what have you been teaching kids
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three." "Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?" "Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?"
"A Jack."
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
Disorder in the Court
These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court."
These are things people actually said in court, word for word,
taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the
torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually
taking place.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
________________________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he
woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
________________________________________________
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
_________________________________________________
Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
__________________________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
_________________________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
________________________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
_________________________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
_________________________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law somewhere
Why do we shout in anger ?
Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'
'But, why to shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.
Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'
Then the saint asked, 'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...' The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'
MORAL:
When you argue, do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.
Excerpt from the Speech given by Chetan Bhagat at Symbiosis.
Excerpt from the Speech given by Chetan Bhagat at Symbiosis.
Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.
One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.
"Don't be serious, be sincere."
ULTIMATE FACTS: 7 Vs 7
Men:
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.
7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.
Women:
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear. 4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.
